英语幽默小短文100字（幽默的英语笑话短文）

本文目录

• 幽默的英语笑话短文
• 英语搞笑小短文带翻译
• 英文幽默短文
• 求五篇英语小幽默
• 一个幽默的英语小故事100字左右
• 英文笑话小短文

幽默的英语笑话短文

幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）

　　在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇1

　　The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

　　"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

　　The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

　　The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."

　　一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

　　“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

　　病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。

　　医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇2

　　Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.

　　Mum:There is no electricity tonight.

　　Mike:Then let’s watch TVwith a candie on.

　　迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

　　妈妈：今晚停电了。

　　迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇3

　　The Fish Net

　　"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"

　　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　　"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

　　"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇4

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　　"You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

　　“她是个卖糖果的。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇5

　　I’ve Just Bitten My Tongue

　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　　"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　　"Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue! "

　　我刚咬破自己的舌头

　　“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

　　“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”

　　“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇6

　　It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City’s Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the **ooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

　　上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇7

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody.What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇8

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."

　　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

　　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇9

　　Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the *****s!

　　Mrs.Brown:It’s no use,my little dog can’t read.

　　布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

　　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇10

　　—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I’m sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.

　　-- Well,bring me the winner then.

　　-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。

　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

　　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

　　幽默的英语笑话短文 篇11

　　teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?

　　student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.

　　teacher:please tell us.

　　student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

英语搞笑小短文带翻译

　　笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了英语搞笑小短文带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇一

　　Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening.

　　有两名社会工作者在晚上的时候走过市区的简陋地方。

　　They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,

　　他们听到从后巷传来的求救呻吟声和很小的哭喊声。经调查，

　　they found a semic***cious man in a pool of blood.

　　他们发现有一个意识不清的人躺在血泊之中。

　　"Help me,I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten ." he pleaded.

　　他在恳求说：“救救我吧，我被人行凶抢劫，还遭到恶意痛打一顿。”

　　The two social workers turned and walked away .

　　这两名社会工作者转身离去。

　　One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."

　　其中一位向她的同事说：“你知道吧，做这件事的人才是真正需要协助呀。”

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇二

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.

　　有一名男子患有心脏病，被送往医院急诊室。

　　The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.

　　医生告诉他，除非他立刻接受心脏移植，否则他就活不成。

　　Another doctor runs into the room and says,

　　另外一名，医生跑进急诊室说：

　　"you are in ****,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one you want.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

　　“你真幸运，刚好有两个心脏可移植，所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。一个是属于律师，另一个是属于社会工作者。”

　　The man quickly responds,"the attorney’s ."

　　这名男子很快响应说：“律师的。”

　　The doctor says,"Wait!Don’t you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"

　　医生说：“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”

　　The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the attorney’s probably never used his .So I will take attorney’s!"

　　这名男子说：“我已经知道够了。大家都知道社会工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心脏，而律师的心脏可能从来都不曾用过他的。所以我选择律师的心脏。"

　　英语搞笑小短文带翻译篇三

　　Helen was on her deathbed ,

　　海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。

　　with her hu**and Jack at her side.

　　她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。

　　He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.

　　他握着她冰冷的手，泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。

　　Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"

　　她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。她说：“杰克，”

　　Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don’t talk."

　　他很快就打断说：“嘘，不要说话。”

　　But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.

　　但是她坚持要说，她以疲惫的声音说：

　　"I have to talk.I must confess.”

　　“杰克，我一定要说。我必须向你坦白。”

　　"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.

　　满脸泪水的杰克说：“没什么好坦白的。

　　"It’s all right.Everything’s all right."

　　没关系。一切都没事。”

　　"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."

　　“不，不，我必须死得安心。我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。”

　　Jack stroked her hand .

　　杰克抚摸着她的手。

　　"Now ,Helen,don’t be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.

　　他啜泣着说：“海伦 ，现在你不要担心了。我全部都知道了。

　　"Why else would I poison you ?"

　　不然我为什么要毒死你呀?"

英文幽默短文

英语幽默：Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it’s life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
或http://enghumor.anyp.cn/040227092045218.aspx

求五篇英语小幽默

Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, ’Good afternoon,’ the undergraduates respond, ’Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
区 别
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
Flunking Math
My son, who made the dean’s list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.
"Mom," he said excitely, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn’t the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. I’m ***** to be having these wonderful experiences!"
"And just what does this mean?" I asked.
"I’m flunking math," he replied.
数学没及格
我儿子是印第安那市曼西尔波州立大学的学生，大学一年级就上了系主任的名单。第二年他学心理学，刚几个星期他就给家里打了个电话。
“妈妈，”他激动地说：“我找到了如何在大学里生存下去的答案!重要的不是分数，而是具备将学到的知识应用于日常生活的素质。我很幸运地有了这种奇妙的经历。”
“你到底是什么意思？”我问道。
“我数学没及格。”他回答说。
Part-time Job
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all **iles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer ***** or plastic?"
业余工作
我儿子在一所中学读二年级时，在一家超级市场找到了一份包装商品的业余工作。他满面笑容地回到了家。
“第一天感觉如何？”我问。
“好极了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟许多漂亮的女孩子讲了话。”
由于斯蒂芬不善言谈，我问道：“你跟他们说了些什么？”
“你是喜欢纸包装还是塑料包装？”
Keys? Kiss?
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of ***** who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very **oothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays." The man looked ********d and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn’t heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher’s neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
钥匙还是接吻
我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。”那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a resp***e: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”
两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
（更多看 参考资料）

一个幽默的英语小故事100字左右

『壹』 跪求80~100字的英语小幽默故事，带翻译！

I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I’d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢？
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。”
Hospitality 好客
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy.
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你***好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it’s life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。"
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That’s too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

『贰』 求一篇有趣的英语小故事（100到150字左右）

There was a man who had seven s***, but he had no daughter, greatly though he longed for one. At last his wife told him that they could again expect a child and, sure enough, when it was born it was a baby girl. There was great rejoicing, but the child was weak and puny, so weak that it had to be christened at once. The father told one of the boys to go quickly to the spring and fetch christening water; the other six ran along with him, and because each of them wanted to be the first to dip the jug into the well, it fell in and sank. So there they stood and didn‘t know what to do, and none of them dared go home. When they didn‘t e back their father got impatient and said:“ I‘ll wager they‘ve been playing some game again and fotten all about it, the godless brats.“ He was afraid the little girl would have to die unbaptized, and in his rage he cried out:“ I wish those boys would all turn into ravens.“ He‘d scarcely spoken the words when he heard a whirring of wings in the air overhead, looked up and saw seven coal-black ravens flying away.

有个人，他有七个儿子，他很希望有个女儿，可是怎么盼也没有。好不容易，妻子又怀孕了。生下来一看，果然是个女孩。他们非常高兴。但是孩子太小，又非常虚弱，非得马上急救洗礼不可。父亲打发一个男孩立即到井台去打洗礼水，其余六个也跟着去了。在井台旁，他们都争着先打水，结果罐子掉进井里，沉了下去。他们不知道该怎么办才好，都真楞楞地站在那儿，谁也不敢回家了。父亲在家里等得不耐烦了，就说：“我敢说这些无法无天的孩子一定是贪玩，把打水的事给忘了。”他担心女孩子不经洗礼会死，就生气地大声喊起来：“淘气鬼，都变成乌鸦才好呢！”这话刚出口，就听到头顶有“吧哒吧哒”鸟儿拍打翅膀的声音。他抬头一看，只见空中有七只漆黑漆黑的乌鸦飞过去了。

『叁』 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor’s office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don’t know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don’t worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I’m not dead. I’m still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second".

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That’s too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I’d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

『肆』 100字英语小故事

是个短的幽默小故事，很简单的那种哦～～

Look at the sky

One day , Charley bought a hot dog in a snack bar after school .

Suddenly , he stopped and raised his head high . He kept looking at the sky . It lasted o minutes .

A woman passed by . she saw Charley looking at the sky . and she stooped and also looked at the sky .

The sky was blue . There were some white clouds . Charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit . The woman also went on looking at the sky .

Mary passers-by stopped . They looked at the sky , too .

After a while , charley lowered his head . He laughed and asked . “what are you looking for in the sky ?”

The woman said : “ why are you looking at the sky ?”

“I didn’t look at the sky .” Charley pointed to his nose .” My nose was bleeding .”
看天空

查理在路上把头抬得高高的，路上的人以为天上有什么好看的，一个接一个的停了下来，抬头望着天，可是，查理抬头看天是因为他的鼻子出血了，那么其他人呢？ （这不是翻译哦，只是概要。。。故事你应该看的懂的）

『伍』 英语小故事100词左右

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

【译文】

老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You’re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

『陆』 我需要一个英语小故事带翻译的100字左右。

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questi***. Now, he asked, "What’s the meaning of the word ’Drunk’, dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there’s only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

『柒』 求一篇100字左右的英语小故事

1、“I’m sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy’s tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

2、The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

第二个有点多，选第一个吧，短小精炼。
望采纳(⊙o⊙)

『捌』 幽默英语小故事100词

My wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify bird species solely by its song. To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour. We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing. “What’s that?” I challenged. She listened closely. “It’s three o’clock.”
我太太对于我光听鸟的叫声就能说出是哪一种鸟的本领非常佩服。为了帮助她学习有关鸟的知识，我买了一台小巧玲珑的厨房钟。它每个小时能发出不同的鸟叫声。我们正在院子里休息的时候，一只红雀开始唱歌。我考考我太太：“那是什么鸟？”她仔细听了一会儿说：“那是三点钟。”

英文笑话小短文

　　笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头 故事 。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。 下面是我带来的经典 英语笑话 阅读，欢迎阅读!
　　经典英语笑话阅读篇一
　　泡泡温泉(双语阅读)

　　a:tom,look at your shoes.how dirty they are! you must clear hem.

　　汤姆，看看你的鞋子，多脏呀，你必须洗一洗了。

　　b:oh.mother,but i cleaned them only yesterday.

　　噢，妈妈，可我昨天才洗过的。

　　a:but they are dirty now.you must clean them again.

　　可现在它们又脏了，你再洗一次吧。

　　b:i don’t want to clean them today. even if i clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow.

　　我今天不想洗，我即使今天把鞋洗了，明天还会脏的。

　　a:ok,don’t clean them then.

　　好吧，那就别洗了。

　　(ln the evening tom came back from school.he was very hungry.

　　晚上汤姆放学回到家，他非常饿。)
　　经典英语笑话阅读篇二
　　喂养宠物(双语阅读)

　　Birds in their little nests agree.

　　鸟在巢中不相争。

　　A **all child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by.

　　一个小男孩在花园里给一只身上很脏的小花猫洗澡，正在这时，一个上了年纪的女士从旁边经过。

　　A:Sonny.you shouldn’t bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die.

　　小家伙，你不应该在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会生病,甚至会死。

　　(The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him.

　　可是，小男孩继续给小猫洗澡，几乎对那位女士置之不理。两小时以后，那位女士返回时看见那个小男孩坐在地上哭泣，小猫躺在他的身旁，死了。)

　　B:Didn’t I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water?

　　小家伙，我不是告诉休了吗?如果在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会死的。

　　A:But Auntie. he didn’t die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry.

　　可是，阿姨，他不是因为我给它洗澡死的，当我把他拧于时，他就死了。
　　经典英语笑话阅读篇三
　　戒除烟瘾(双语阅读)

　　Health is not valued till sickness comes.

　　生病才知健康好。

　　A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.

　　一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。

　　A:If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined.

　　如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。

　　B:It’s in the judge’s hand now.

　　这事掌握在法官的手上。

　　A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?

　　如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用?

　　B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn’t even **ile ai the judge.

　　哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。

　　With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,

　　最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。

　　A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.

　　谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很多管用。

　　B:I’m sure we wodd have lost the caae if you’d sent them.

　　如果你送了的话，我肯定休会输掉这场官司。

　　A:But did send them.

　　但是我的确送了。

　　B:What? You did?!

　　什么?你送了?!

　　A:Yes.That’s how we won the case.

　　对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。

　　B:I don’t understand

　　我不明白。

　　A:It’s easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff’s business card.

　　这很简单，我把雪茄送到了{去官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。